Those jerks at HBO have turned down my latest idea for a TV show, which would compete with a certain Sunday night megahit. My show would be called Disparate Housewives. Each woman character would be totally unique.
BeforeA chronicle of an American life
I have an idea for a TV show. It would be called “the life of Riley” Now this is not to be confused with the original “Life of Riley,” and yes Virginia there was one, way back in the black and white TV days.
This show would consist of a matriarch who is a blue collar entrepreneur. She has at various times sold Christmas trees, cemetery flowers, insurance, stereos, CB radios, and is considering the adult sex toy market for suburban woman (focusing of course on tasteful items and educational sex videos.) Her time to begin this new venture is constantly interrupted due to her youngest sons’ constant legal affairs, her middle sons messiness and lazy eye problems, and her oldest sons travel. Her lesbian cleaning lady and partner have asked for any of the sons to be donors for their baby. Their ex-live in German exchange students continues to ask to come back and stay another year so he can buy another vehicle from Ricart Ford. Her current husband constantly asks her to leave town (read that as Broke Back Mountain on her home front). There is a cast of numerous home repair people. And she secretly continues to harass various FBI agents to join the witness protection program.
There are laughs, drama, schemes and dreams in this plot line. Legal maneuverings of the first degree including a lawyer who sleeps thorough a six figure deal, a son who manages to drive into the lake, and grandma the inveterate gambler, who makes the top ten spenders with Publishers Clearing House three years in a row.
No I guess it’s just too strange to believe.
I have to tell you about this exciting web page I recently found
Here are a few excepts:
Her face is so beautiful, but she got really fat, her behind is so big-as fat as Brigid’s was. She’s on Easter vacation from Radcliffe. She was the first person to leave, I think she has to be home before midnight, on a schedule, because once when she was at Fred’s she stayed until 4:00 and Jackie got mad.
She had as a present for Victor a bag of Hawaiian marijuana that a couple friends who have a ranch there mailed to her in a box of perfumed shirts so you wouldn’t smell the marijuana. She said she gave some to one of her bodyguards and he was passed out at home. She says she’ll Iet me take pictures of her as soon as she gets her divorce. Before it was “as soon as I get the plastic in my face from Dr. Orentreich.” I talked to Dr. Giller, he seems so sensible. He said that only fish and chicken and fresh vegetables were good for you, even though he himself liked Chinese food. He told Mrs. Kaiser where she could get fresh chickens kosher on the Lower East Side, and she said she’d send one of her bodyguards down for some, she’s been sending him out to do her shopping. She was wearing twenty carats on each ear and a diamond bracelet, too. She’s really nice. She had a car out front, too, with her dog who wears the chauffeur’s cap.
Martin Scorsese with his wife, Julia. Jackie Bisset. Lee Grant. Burt Young from Rocky. A girl from Big Valley, Linda Evans, really beautiful. Tony Curtis was giving people puffs on his marijuana. Julia Scorsese said that Martin would take me and Fred in his limo. She was drunk, screaming something about death threats, but I didn’t know what she was talking about.
As we got into the car Martin said he had a bomb threat, the note said that he would die one minute after midnight if Jodie Foster won the Academy Award. It was 2:00 now and he was going to MGM to work on New York, New York in the dark and deserted MGM lot, alone. I was paranoid. Esther Phillips was calling me at the hotel but I didn’t answer the calls because she’s started to scare me-one of her calls was at 2 A.M.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.