Look out
The pain from the recent spate of court-related killings won’t be able to heal until some gun nut informs the country that if everyone could carry a firearm inside a courthouse, we wouldn’t have as many crazed defendants grabbing guns and shooting judges. I do hope this brave truth-teller speaks out soon, because it is high time for there to be more loaded weapons around criminals. After all, if guns were illegal, then only criminals would be able to shoot innocent court reporters in cold blood.
A healthy plate-sized serving of sarcasm is best served cold.
This weeks commentary is insight, wry, witty and of course reflective of Mr. Cash’s usual ability to cut through the bullshit to the heart of any matter, which is why we all have come to visit this site
However, I wish to post an incident myself, not near as serious as the one Mr. Cash discusses this week, but frankly if I had a gun today, I believe I would have shot someone at SBC Ameritech. The entire stressful, distasteful incident all arises from my innocent belief that I could upgrade my DSL service by a simple phone call.
About six weeks ago the “new equipment” was delivered and installed except for some configuration on our part. When attempting to configure the router that was part of the new equipment, we learn they have delivered the wrong router.
Like mission impossible my job is to track down the correct router and bring it home.
I believe the purchase of plutonium might be an easier task.
Problems encountered include- SBC HIDES their phone number. That’s right..” Contact us” is a lie. They do everything they can to keep you from calling the number.
If you can uncover the phone number for DSL department you can choose sales, tech support or the DSL store.
My first call to tech support confirmed our suspicions that we had the wrong router. This took 8 minutes to reach that conclusion. The tech then transferred me to the “router equipment correction department” where I heard “Please wait” for 15 minutes.
In the meantime I began calling from my cell phone the same number thinking I would hedge my bet. This second call stated I needed to talk to the “store” and they transferred me there where the “store” informed me I needed sales.
In the meantime the Please Wait just suddenly went dead about 15 or so minutes into holding.
The store told me I needed technical support. I explained I already had technical support but they insisted and I was then transferred to someone in India. This technical representative insisted I had the correct router and wanted to configure it on the phone. I put him on hold called the sales department, patched them together asked the sales department what router would I receive to support five IP addresses and they named a different router from the originally delivered to my office.
The tech support then put me back to the “Please Wait” line where I waited for another 10 minutes and then began calling on my cell phone back to technical support. I am sure the tech support guy in India was pleased that he was punishing me with the on hold limbo because I proved him wrong.
Calling back again now to Tech Support, they also insisted I had the correct router and that I configure it while they had me on the phone. Explaining that wasn’t possible, I am not the person to configure it they suggested we could make an appointment for their very department to call me at a specified time and hour and they would help me. At this point, knowing damn well they would never call. I hung up and called back to sales.
I now had close to 50 minutes on two phones invested so it really was more than an hour of waiting.
I choose sales this time having given up any hope of tech support, but no, the sales person transferred me back to tech support and this person.. said “Yes you do have the wrong router, can you please hold” When he returned he explained it had been more than 30 days since the equipment was installed therefore it was not returnable. “What, you shipped me the wrong equipment, I didn’t order it!”
Like a broken record he explained too bad, you want another router you will have to buy it. I hung up.
I then called again where they transferred me to home sales by mistake. I hung up on that person.
I called back again, now surely ready to go postal on SBC, and asked for sales.
Calmly I explained, “I want DSL service with five IP addresses, can they do this for me?”
The technician said sure, let’s put it on your fax line. I said, “How about if I decide when you bring the equipment out which line we will put it on?” Me, now plotting like a crazed madman from a Poe story to surely pluck out someone’s heart or eyes at this point. I picture in my minds eye the SBC truck pulling in, and me wrapping a garrote around his neck until he offers up the correct equipment from the back of his vehicle.
“No, you must choose now.”
I blurted out the fax number thinking he won’t realize I already have this order, but NO HE MATCHES UP THE ORIGINAL RECORD! “You already have this service.”
“No I don’t it doesn’t work, they sent the wrong router.” Now 1 hour and 15 minutes into trying to accomplish this.
“He says okay, we will send someone out on the 24th and bring you a replacement.”
WHAT! How can this be, someone who can fix it?
My supposed delivery will be on the 24th of March. If you read on the 25th of March about a shooting in a nearby suburb please understand it was totally justified.
And yet there still isn’t a web site about me.