Before
A chronicle of an American life
Archive for September, 2005
22 September 2005 at 8.16 am · Filed under Culture, Funny stories, Work life
Greetings, y’all. Yesterday was day 2 and we traveled down to the coast at Biloxi. Nationwide has rented most or all of a hotel called the Edgewater Inn, which is like some kind of old motel that’s been partially renovated. There is a little office set up in one of the rooms. Ours has a 25-inch TV with an “antenna” — twenty feet of coax strung up along the drop ceiling. We get fuzzy black and white ABC. Can’t complain, nobody said this was home. They did say not to drink the water.
It’s funny, as much devastation as there is here, people seem already more preoccupied with Hurricane Rita, which currently is forecast to head up Galveston Bay and hit Houston. The pressure is 894 millibars — the lowest I’ve ever heard of in any hurricane. All the Texas people here are going home to deal with their own houses.
My agents are still causing me to get up early. Yesterday, they told me to be ready to go at six-thirty, so I was. Tragically for all concerned, they were not ready to leave until ten a.m. OK, so they had to run some reports, but come on. I came here thinking I’d be worn out every night and getting some solid sleep. I was up at six again today… guess why I have time to be typing this entry? 
Again, can’t complain. It’s cat duty, dude!
All that out of the way, the landscape around here is crazy. Basically, everything tall is crumpled and everything short is full of sand or moved around. Bizarrely, there is some kind of whorehouse (this is Biloxi) across the street. It’s four feet full of debris. The funniest thing is that there are sex toys everywhere. I found a penis pump on the beach. Humorous disaster photos forthcoming. Just to level the mood here, there is also a rotting dog carcass down the street, and this storm was so strong it stripped the bricks right off a building. Photos of that, too.
We’re off to Mobile today, then I’m coming home. The drawl, I trust, will be gone too!
20 September 2005 at 11.13 pm · Filed under Culture, Funny stories, Technology, Work life
It’s 11pm here in Hinds County, Mississippi. I am lying in a nice hotel room in the capital of this state, having unsuccessfully sought any restaurant where decent Japanese food is served. (I guess I wanted to be able to say I ate all the sushi in Mississippi. But there just isn’t any.) Nationwide sent me here to help out with the response to Hurricane Katrina.
I am here with two Columbus guys who consider me their tag-along but whom I consider my chauffeurs and agents. (Just kiddin’, guys, although I do get to ride in the back of the Jeep.) I brought the GIS technology that we need to match claims with people who can work them, so the claims representatives don’t have to drive all over the place to help customers — we’ve given them claims that are “clumped” together on a map. I’m doing the heavy lifting.
So far we haven’t seen any major damage — Jackson was spared, apparently, although hurricane force winds were felt here, I understand. Tomorrow, we are leaving at the jaunty hour of 6.30am to head down to the coast and see the real damage. I’ll post some photos when I get the chance.
My trip has been decently uneventful although there has been grits exposure already and I do not foresee a let-up in the grits activity any time soon. The most ironic thing I’ve had to deal with was that I had to go through secondary screening at the airport and my bags were exhaustively searched and swabbed with the little explosive-detector pad. What was ironic about that is that Bob, my screener, went over a particular book again and again in a particularly invasive search. The book, of course, was Constitutional Law.
I’ll be here until Friday. I fear I saw my last Starbucks latte today and won’t see another for days. Tragically, she didn’t even mix the coffee and the milk. Hey, Rowena, you have to shake it up! I miss the east already and the supply of New York newspapers has run perilously low. Please think of me and the other victims of this catastrophe.
18 September 2005 at 8.43 pm · Filed under Funny stories, Law school
Last night right after class, I came home and crept into bed. It was the cap on a very draining week, which is what every week winds up being these days. I lay there for a few minutes, then got back out and dragged myself into the shower so I could go out to Plank’s and have free pizza courtesy of the Student Bar Association and the Public Interest and Government Law group. PI-Gov, as they call it, is affectionately known to me as “PIGLaw,” and is capably steered by Jarrod Shirk and new boldface name Erica Gartner.
Aside from the always-jarring experience of venturing into any part of Straightland (is that a real woman? what’s with all the braided leather belts? I paid to be here?), the night was reasonably pleasurable. We stood around gossiping about people we know, some of whom we’d just been sitting next to in class not an hour before. Did you know so-and-so pretended to be absent when he was called on in class because he didn’t have the guts to admit he hadn’t done the reading? Is it true that a certain military figure has dropped out? Did you make the National Moot Court Team? And lurking under all these, my favorite obsession: so who’s number one in the class?
Alcohol is always such a great social lubricant, isn’t it? I didn’t drink because I wanted to sleep when I got home, but I had a good time teasing the woman who has been named the Blonde Tornado. (Not by me, I hasten to add, and not an unironic choice on the part of the namer, either.) She teased me about my appalling clothes — T-shirt, jeans, and rubber sandals — then made a sweeping gesture that caused her to dump her own beer onto the very same sandals. It was even funnier the second time she did that. She’s a good girl and I do wish her the best. She’s just so easy to talk to (”it’s my own fault, I shit where I eat”).
Why are we all chasing after this law degree? Sometimes I see the students as satellites orbiting the decidedly un-Heavenly body that is CULS. Some of them are in regular, close orbits, passing over the books and the library each week like clockwork. Others, like that big liar from Con Law, are erratic comets that grow brighter and dimmer with no discernible pattern. Yet all of us are going to be launched out in a different direction some day — or crash onto the surface. Why are we doing it? From this vantage point, it’s hard to envision ever getting out or using this stuff. Some days it feels like I’m still not a grown-up. I hate wearing the backpack. Will wearing the suit and, sadly, the occasional braided leather belt, feel any better?
12 September 2005 at 7.46 pm · Filed under Law school, Random
Current new favorite quote from a law school textbook:
DeLaCruz negotiated a plea agreement requiring him to cooperate with the government in its prosecution of Fernandez, Hernandez, and a third person, Victor “Shorty” Liriano.
In other news, I was coming back to class just now with good friend and perennial boldface name Sondra Kanuckle, carrying my laptop, some lemonade, and my little door-handle napkin to prevent infection by knobs. See, I watch people leave the bathroom without washing their hands. Do I want to touch where they touched? No, so I carry a little hand protector, my wadded-up paper towel from washing my own hands.
“Why are you doing that? You’re a freak,” she was about to say. Just then, the beautiful silent woman from the back row emerged, also carrying a paper towel, and opened the door for us both.
4 September 2005 at 9.19 pm · Filed under Recipes
I have to say this is totally the best sloppy joe recipe I’ve ever found. It was stolen from the internet, I just wish I could remember where I got it.
You will need:
- 1 1/2 pounds ground beef
- 1 onion, chopped
- 1 red bell pepper, chopped
- 1 6 oz can tomato paste
- 1 cup water
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon chili powder (seriously, y’all — do not freak out about this)
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
- 3 tablespoons brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
- Buns
- 15 lbs lobster meat, arranged (optional)
- Your parents’ permission
Usually makes six or seven nice-sized joes. Sometimes I prefer to use more cumin and less brown sugar, it depends on the mood.
In a large skillet over medium-high heat, saut� the ground beef for 5 minutes. Add the onion and red bell pepper. Saute for 5 more minutes, or until the onion is tender. Drain the fat.
Now mix in the tomato paste and water, stirring until the paste is dissolved (doesn�t take very long). Stir in everything else. Continue to heat until the mixture is thick and stewy. Sometimes, I like to add a little extra water and reduce again.
Bon appetit! If you make it, let me know what you think.
