Tagged: food

“Your rent is 78 months overdue”

I’ve decided that when food rots in the fridge, it’s very psychically damaging. When food goes bad, for me it’s more like a betrayal. I look in there, I see a never-touched bag of salad greens or box of strawberries that one time held such promise — I feel such disappointment, like my children, they desert me. It hurts. It also doesn’t help that we continue to buy these items, thusly compounding my sorrow and anguish. There are two walleye filets in there. The walleye lie there, stillborn, markers of what never would be.

Fortunately we are seeing “eye” to “eye” on other issues — take the Pet Shop Boys, for example. So I happen to think Fundamental (and remix album Fundamentalism!) are some of the best CDs ever released in the last hundred years. I purchased about $100 of import singles through the mail — some new stuff, some old stuff. Arnie liked Flamboyant so much he had to hear it twice! Fundamental is quite the album. The first single was I’m With Stupid, about the love relationship between G. W. Bush and Tony Blair; “No one understands me / where I’m coming from / why would I be with someone who’s obviously so dumb?” The other great lines are “fly across the ocean / just to let you get your way” and “Do we really have a relationship so special in your heart?” Everything on the album is good. Buy it.

In other news, I guess I realize what a computer dork I still am, and I like it. Just today I ran into somebody in the hallway who wanted to know if I still liked IT as much as law, and I wound up teaching her AJAX in a nutshell, and actually got all excited! I also ran across an old 3.2 GB drive and thought I’d put it into my ancient Pentium II Linux beater box, Passaic. (All my hardware is named after Jersey places.) Well it turned out to be the hard drive I used in college, and I found all this awesome Win98 stuff on it. “You last defragmented this drive 2,528 day(s) ago.” It has the NeoPlanet browser installed and I’ve got the horrible “Active Desktop” running now. I’m using the old “baseball” theme with the swinging bat instead of the hourglass. After I upgraded it to IE 6 I was able to run Windows Update. I need to run 25 critical updates and there are 40 more patches!

This is nothing. Last week I also decided to drag the old beloved TRS-80 Model III out of the basement and I found some of the old programs — Android Nim, computer bridge, and even CompuServe, that you had to use with the 300 baud external modem (in ANS or ORIG mode, please). Even ORCH-90 is there. It is so awesome.

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Why do they advertise diapers during Will and Grace?

I went to Kroger today and found a stockwoman. She was reading Jello. “Incredible Hulk pudding? Turns green when you add milk? Yeah. Yeah, that’ll be the day! Ha ha… nuts.” Then she walked away. “Ahhh, Miss!” I blurted out, as I thought she could be helpful, not having talked to her. I was looking for the little can of pre-crumbled Oreos (for ice cream), since this product makes eating so much more fun. She glared at me and said, “You know. You could just buy Oreos and crumble ’em yourself.” …I know that.

I no longer believe in humanity.

I sort of met a guy at work whose name I had to strain to read off his ID. I thought it was Austin. But, later, I realized it could be Dustin. Or, Justin. Or, Custin, or Lustin or Qustin. How will we ever meet again?

I realize many of you have been complaining there have been no log entries in a good while. Actually it’s only been like six weeks — come on, adoring public, give me a break! My goal is to post at least one every calendar month.  This is something I’m proud to say I’ve managed to achieve. If you’ll remember back in entry one or two, I said something like, I didn’t want to post the serious events of my life in public for everyone to read. Unfortunately, I’ve run out of impersonal drivel. Anyone who wants me to go all reality-TV and start posting every minor detail of my life, please write me back.

Finally, in other news, since I last wrote, I moved into a new place, signed up to purchase another new place, got a new job and a new window seat, and became single again. But if you’re reading this, you probably knew that.