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Monthly Archive: May 2003

City life

Eat it

I’ve had it with grocery store discount cards.  They know.

I used to go to Kroger and sign up for a fresh “Kroger Plus Card” every time I bought something. This was great fun for me because it held up the line (which I feel, ultimately, punishes the store, somehow), and because I always fill in a fake name, like Jodie Zaragosa or Marko Nuckles. There was always a twinge of excitement and guilt when I’d realize (again) that I’d given a fake name while paying with a credit card that has my real name on it. They never called me on it, though, which was a little disappointing.

Kroger caught on to me this year and started making you have to go to the customer service desk to sign up for a new card. This really cut down on my card-signing-up activities, since I usually forget to sign up for the card until I have ice cream, and then it’s this boring race against time to get home.

My big beef is, since when did it become reasonable to jack up the average bill 18%, then make people use a card to get the prices back where they belong? I don’t want to give out my personal information, but I don’t want to pay $11 a pound for fish either. Is it really worth six bucks to them every time I go in there for them to find out what I’m buying? It’s the biggest hassle. And I refuse to carry the card or hang it on my keyring, because if there is one thing I am not it is some kind of corporate tool. Obviously.

The biggest excitement came tonight, when I sadly indicated I didn’t have my card — sometimes the cashiers will take pity on you and give you the discount anyway. Not this hardass. But she did say you could go to customer service and ask for the discount on your next visit. Isn’t that great? Kroger owes me hundreds.  Where are my receipts?

Funny stories

Three quotes

“The trouble then and now is that Democrats have about as much clout at the Statehouse as the University of Michigan boosters club.” – Dispatch

“‘I always thought that mayor of Hilliard would be the most honorable job in the world,’ said Kay, 40, who has lived in the town his whole life.” – Dispatch

“The Japanese Steak House will be closed, May 26, so that we may celebrate Memorial Day. Sorry for any convenience.” – sign

Solely personal

Latest news

Why do they advertise diapers during Will and Grace?

I went to Kroger today and found a stockwoman. She was reading Jello. “Incredible Hulk pudding? Turns green when you add milk? Yeah. Yeah, that’ll be the day! Ha ha… nuts.” Then she walked away. “Ahhh, Miss!” I blurted out, as I thought she could be helpful, not having talked to her. I was looking for the little can of pre-crumbled Oreos (for ice cream), since this product makes eating so much more fun. She glared at me and said, “You know. You could just buy Oreos and crumble ’em yourself.” …I know that.

I no longer believe in humanity.

I sort of met a guy at work whose name I had to strain to read off his ID. I thought it was Austin. But, later, I realized it could be Dustin. Or, Justin. Or, Custin, or Lustin or Qustin. How will we ever meet again?

I realize many of you have been complaining there have been no log entries in a good while. Actually it’s only been like six weeks — come on, adoring public, give me a break! My goal is to post at least one every calendar month.  This is something I’m proud to say I’ve managed to achieve. If you’ll remember back in entry one or two, I said something like, I didn’t want to post the serious events of my life in public for everyone to read. Unfortunately, I’ve run out of impersonal drivel. Anyone who wants me to go all reality-TV and start posting every minor detail of my life, please write me back.

Finally, in other news, since I last wrote, I moved into a new place, signed up to purchase another new place, got a new job and a new window seat, and became single again. But if you’re reading this, you probably knew that.