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Before

A chronicle of an American life

Archive for February, 2006

Now I lay me down to sleep

Nothing says “I’m very classy” like tonight’s midnight snack: a big hunk of Kroger flatbread that would otherwise go stale, three sticks of imitation crab meat, a goodish slice of real English Stilton, and of course, six Carr’s Table Water Crackers.  Good night, fair readers everywhere, from my bed.

By the way, I am also happy to report that I have won my battle against Amazon.com.  The Pet Shop Boys album I ordered on November 27th of last year arrived today.  Against all odds, I should add.  The Amazon people put what I ordered (Battleship Potemkin) at $12.99 on interminable hold, while they then offered the same album under a different price of $28.49 to be shipped within a few days.  Not only did I receive what I ordered at the price I wanted, I also got 2-day shipping, and a $5 credit for my moderate patience.

In a further related incident to be filed in the “small consumer victories” category, The New Yorker finally caved and offered to renew my subscription for two years for only $45.  This was after months of insisting $82 was the best they could do.  If you’d like them to make you a similar offer, all you have to do is let your subscription lapse, then throw away the next twelve letters in a row.  Plaudits to both megacorporations, for coming around.

Happy Greek again!

Just thought I would inform everyone that The Happy Greek, Columbus’ 2nd-best hummus provider, has again taken the prize for slowest possible hummus sale.  A phone call to that jocular Mediterranean to order the famous food yielded no clue that the order was going to take a record 26 minutes to be prepared.  Allegedly, the hummus is made while you wait.  Oddly, though, when you order it at the dinner table it comes almost immediately.  Why does this restaurant hate its loyal call-ahead customers, who don’t tie up the limited table space or bother the help?