Give till it hurts

The millionaire families of Laguna Beach need help!  They can’t afford to pay their expenses from the awful landslide.  Here is a list of profiles of the families who need your money.  The city wants to give each family $3,000 a month for 30 months and $60,000 for geological studies.

Click here to donate thousands.

I like how the obviously gay couples — “Jo and Jm,” and HC and DK, the flight attendant whose Steinway piano was lost — are referred to in carefully gender-neutral ways or their sex is just left out, whereas everybody else is Mr. and Mrs. W.

It’s also amusing that they actually admit one house was “red-tagged” in a previous 1978 landslide.  Now the same set of spoiled Californians is back for more money.  I was just in Laguna Beach a month ago, telling people it was all a dream and it wouldn’t last.  I was proven right sooner than I thought I would be.  These people have no sense of perspective.  One of them actually told me, “It’s hard to believe that places like Houston and Ohio really exist.  It’s like the whole rest of the country is a big bubble.”  No, you’re in the bubble.

By the way, the city mayor doesn’t want you to think they are millionaires, but before the landslide, they used to be — especially the one family that bought its house for $280,000 eighteen years ago.

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3 Responses

  1. justme says:

    Greetings fellow readers:

    I too was hurt in the mudslide. I was living in the cardboard box, the real nice refrigerator box, next to that red Porsche 911. It’s the one you see in all the CNN pictures. ( I had the deluxe double wide refrigerator box )

    When the marble countertops, and mahogany floor came crashing down, well it just tore the shit out of my home.

    I know — I know — I should have had insurance but heck I was careless and didn’t look into it, even though that Allstate agent came by weekly to bug me about it.

    I was really happy there, it was such a step up from the Public Storage I had been living in with the 20 other people from Mexico who cleaned those people’s houses at Laguna Beach.

    Anyway, if you all could send me some fifties or one hundred’s it would be greatly appreciated. I know with just a few donations I can relocate to maybe a wildfire area where it is much safer. No maybe the San Andreas fault area would be better.. no maybe West Hollywood would be better.

    Well anyway send the money care of KCASH c/o Cardboard Box Rebuild Fund, California Bank and Trust, 1111 Mudslide Way, Laguna Beach Ca 91100

    I’ll be back in Ohio soon for the DooDah Parade, so all you friends of Bill’s be sure and watch for my fleet of mail jeeps coming your way soon.


  2. justme says:

    Why is it no one ever comments on my comments?

    signed.. justme

  3. JUSTME says:

    Well still no one posting comments on my comments and still no column and still no jeep photos on this page.

    I bet if I pulled the plug on that file server it would get some attention.

    lets see .. which wire.. hell pull them all out!