On storms

You might know that hurricane names are based on lists of names drawn up by committee years in advance.  I think I read somewhere that Atlantic names are one-third English, one-third French, and one-third Spanish to represent the countries in the region.  But I’ve decided it might be more satisfying to have our hurricanes named after strippers, whores, and drag queens rather than some bland lists of names in boy-girl order.

  • “Hurricane Cinnamon is breathlessly lurching toward Jacksonville!”
  • “Tropical Storm Trixie has grazed the island of Hispaniola.”
  • “The residents of Newport News have braced themselves for the arrival of Hurricane Virginia West.”  (special thanks to imposing local drag empress Virginia West)
  • “Tropical Storm All-Beef Patty has become unstable and has blown out to sea.”
  • “Tropical Depression Miss Thing has been brooding off the coast of the Bahamas for four days now.”

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2 Responses

  1. Quixote says:

    Speaking of “the Laguna Beach landslide victims” – how is the global effort to raise charitable funds to save the million dollar Laguna Beach “estates” going? Now their plight is truly tragic and inspiring. I hope the lord is doing her best to deliver them from abject poverty and homelessness. I know those other silly beach dwellers slightly inconvenienced by that little 2004 Tsunami, or those anorexic teens in Niger are getting more than their fair share of international aid and attention–which has prevented me from watching yet another painstakingly inane story of missing white females or of the tragic losses of the Laguna Beach “working-class” people…

    Thankfully, the good folks who run major network news have provided balance and allowed us to witness the unparalleled tragedy of a few “working-class” families, and some blonde woman in Aruba…

    The juxtaposition of such tragedies is uncanny–We shall never forget…the missing “white-girl” [Emphasis added] or the million dollar homes…

    Sound and Fury…

  2. Quixote says:

    BREAKING NEWS (Ummm…YAHOO NEWS)–“In Alabama, exploding transformers lit up the early morning sky and muddy, 6-foot waves engulfed stately, million-dollar homes along Mobile Bay’s normally tranquil waterfront.”

    Ummm…AM I suppose to feel sad about these damaged “stately” “million-dollar” homes?