You might know that hurricane names are based on lists of names drawn up by committee years in advance.Â I think I read somewhere that Atlantic names are one-third English, one-third French, and one-third Spanish to represent the countries in the region.Â But I’ve decided it might be more satisfying to have our hurricanes named after strippers, whores, and drag queens rather than some bland lists of names in boy-girl order.
- “Hurricane Cinnamon is breathlessly lurching toward Jacksonville!”
- “Tropical Storm Trixie has grazed the island of Hispaniola.”
- “The residents of Newport News have braced themselves for the arrival of Hurricane Virginia West.”Â (special thanks to imposing local drag empress Virginia West)
- “Tropical Storm All-Beef Patty has become unstable and has blown out to sea.”
- “Tropical Depression Miss Thing has been brooding off the coast of the Bahamas for four days now.”