Author: Bill Cash

Victory over technology!

Yes! It is true! Eleven months after The Failure, I have successfully gotten all six of my beautiful halogen lights back up and running! It’s the Summer of Bill, I tell you! The Summer of Bill!!! And all it took was a $56 part, a ladder, twenty minutes of straining,...

Flight of the penguin

I saw the “cute penguin movie” today (March of the Penguins).  Rather than bore you with the details (cute movie; Emperor penguins are remarkable creatures), I’ll skip right to the funny part.  I noticed in the credits the following three people listed consecutively: pianist, bassoonist, accountant.  My mind immediately fluttered...

We don’t have liftoff

Mary and David Savoie had returned to their favorite viewing spot along the Indian River, bringing cousins from Pennsylvania to watch the shuttle launching in the distance.  Joshua Lacy had settled beside them with a cooler, and nearby, Tony Vivian had fired up his radio and grill. All had staked...

Nightmares

I am taking the Criminal Law final exam today.  As usual, whatever I am taking at the moment tends to inform my actions and thoughts.  Lately I have been going around muttering “guilty of this, guilty of that” when I see bad things happen to good people. I had a...

Give till it hurts

The millionaire families of Laguna Beach need help!  They can’t afford to pay their expenses from the awful landslide.  Here is a list of profiles of the families who need your money.  The city wants to give each family $3,000 a month for 30 months and $60,000 for geological studies....

Tiptoe through the torts

When the defendant, Clifford Witter, a dance instructor, waltzed out of the employment of the plaintiff, the Arthur Murry Dance Studios of Cleveland, Inc., into the employment of the Fred Astaire Dancing Studios, the plaintiff waltzed Witter into court.  For brevity, the two studios are called ‘Arthur Murray’ and ‘Fred...

Look out

The pain from the recent spate of court-related killings won’t be able to heal until some gun nut informs the country that if everyone could carry a firearm inside a courthouse, we wouldn’t have as many crazed defendants grabbing guns and shooting judges.  I do hope this brave truth-teller speaks...

Odds and ends

I recently found an Illinois case where an impaired hand was worth $800,000 and a Louisiana case where an amputated foot was worth only $80,000.  I believe that Louisiana in general is much stingier than Illinois.  Maybe people over there are used to heartache. I am still learning to romance...

Caster’s revenge

Well…  We lost the final round of the moot court competition.  It was unpleasant — after the argument concluded, I felt pretty sure we’d won.  I think we had a better-developed theory of the case, and we knew our facts better, but our opponents pulled it off. I had the...

Objection, your honors

The Honorable William Klatt 373 South High Street, 24th Floor Columbus, Ohio 43215 February 13, 2005 Dear William Klatt: I’m a 26-year-old first-year student at Capital University Law School, and I’m writing to you in your capacity as the Tenth District’s administrative judge.  I had the pleasure of participating in...

And if you need help getting back to your car…

So we had two more rounds of moot court today.  I don’t know how but we have advanced to the Final Four, baby!!!  Life is good so far.  We go back for the semi-finals tomorrow and I don’t even want to speculate on who’ll be in the finals. The opponents are...

Lenin watches over me

When I go to the law library, I like to sit under the shelf that holds the 1987 Yearbook on Socialist Legal Systems.  Somehow it is comforting.

Wasting postage

My mom has this skill where she picks up an envelope and can just tell whether it’s one ounce or two.  I am so jealous.

What’s the matter with Ohio?

So recently, our organization’s officer came to see the gang at work about how we are feeling. It was, as always, a well-intentioned event, and I do think he takes our comments seriously. Unfortunately for everyone, it was at 8am, and I showed up about 50 minutes late, because I...

Buzzings from the hive

I’ve been spending time in Plaza One, whereas I usually work in Plaza Three. Although they are only a couple of hundred feet away, it is another world over there. There are a lot more suits and a lot fewer Indians. I like to think that I’ve time-traveled into the...